No one is exempt from loss, the kind that affects our heart and stirs up a wide range of emotions. Each significant loss affects us in ways we never imagined, requiring difficult
adjustments– ones we never wanted to make. Is there a shortcut through this painful time of grief?
If only there were. A magic wand would be mighty handy just now.
But alas, the truth is that facing grief is the only way to heal it. Support makes the crucial difference. It is just too hard to try and do alone.
Friends, church groups, etc. may be helpful. And a Grief Coach (not a therapist – this is not a mental illness) can help you sort out those overwhelming emotions. Trained to understand and anticipate your needs, these compassionate professionals are there to truly acknowledge and validate your individual grieving process, while helping to heal the emotional pain.
It is of foremost importance that we do face and deal with grief, It’s not enough to just get busy, deny it or stuff it. There is compelling evidence that unresolved emotions eventually show up in the body as physical disease. Therefore, allowing time to fully express grief is a necessary part of the process.
The power of letting it out
More often than not expressing grief means crying or actually wailing out loud. This is not a time to protect others by being quiet. For privacy, one idea is to park your car near a loud place like a freeway or beach and just let it out. Another idea is to turn up the volume on some music, either in the car or at home.
The value of voicing your grief is so powerful that in some cultures, wailing (also known as
keening) is done by professionals hired to aid the family. It may sound foreign or even scary to your own ears, but anyone who has fully grieved will recognize the sound as not
only perfectly normal but helpful too.
With help and guidance from those who have been there and have specific training, we do heal and experience surprising transformation.