Shortcutting Grief?

No one is exempt from loss, the kind that affects our heart and stirs up a wide range of pink flowers to bring joy and healingemotions. Each significant loss affects us in ways we never imagined, requiring difficult
adjustments– ones we never wanted to make. Is there a shortcut through this painful time of grief?

If only there were. A magic wand would be mighty handy just now.

But alas, the truth is that facing grief is the only way to heal it. Support makes the crucial difference. It is just too hard to try and do alone.

Friends, church groups, etc. may be helpful. And a Grief Coach (not a therapist – this is not a mental illness) can help you sort out those overwhelming emotions. Trained to understand and anticipate your needs, these compassionate professionals are there to truly acknowledge and validate your individual grieving process, while helping to heal the emotional pain.

It is of foremost importance that we do face and deal with grief, It’s not enough to just get busy, deny it or stuff it. There is compelling evidence that unresolved emotions eventually show up in the body as physical disease. Therefore, allowing time to fully express grief is a necessary part of the process.

The power of letting it out
More often than not expressing grief means crying or actually wailing out loud. This is not a time to protect others by being quiet. For privacy, one idea is to park your car near a loud place like a freeway or beach and just let it out. Another idea is to turn up the volume on some music, either in the car or at home.

The value of voicing your grief is so powerful that in some cultures, wailing (also known as
keening) is done by professionals hired to aid the family. It may sound foreign or even scary to your own ears, but anyone who has fully grieved will recognize the sound as not
only perfectly normal but helpful too.

With help and guidance from those who have been there and have specific training, we do heal and experience surprising transformation.

Learn more
About Dhyanis and her approach to healing grief
How to love more and hurt less

Tips for supporting a grieving friend


The Healing Power of Gratitude

“You are what you love and you love whatever you are giving
your attention to.”

~ Emanuel Swedenborg

Have you ever said, “I can’t help thinking that . . . “? But can we help it? True, we “think” of our conscious mind as logical, as in “if this, then that must follow,” without any hint of our participation or power to change outcomes.

We generally have not been taught that our mind is a powerful tool which can be used as a creative instrument. In fact it is always creating, according to our beliefs and thoughts. Therefore if we feed it positive beliefs and thoughts we can move out of bondage of negative experiences (and preordained outcomes) and into manifesting our full potential on this ride we call life!

“You cannot simultaneously be worrying about life, and
still feel you are fully supported and completely taken care of..”

~ From You Are What You Love by Vaishali

Gratitude is one of the best mind foods available. Since, when you focus on something you appreciate, you cannot be simultaneously be feeling lack, wishing things could be different, or dwelling in the past. When you are worried, you are “loving” worrying, and creating more things to be worried about.

When you are actively grateful, you are “loving” the gifts life has given or is giving you, and magically creating more things for which to be grateful. Our mind never quits and is constantly creating from the raw material we feed into it.

“Our thoughts go out from us like ripples in a pond.”
~ From Meditations to Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

Choosing gratitude every day, even when we have lost someone, our own health or capacity we once had, is the most powerful example of “the gift that keeps on giving.” Those grateful thoughts ripple outward, affecting every relationship, all of our own cells and functions, and our sense of abundance. If we truly are what we love (or give our attention to), then we can consciously choose what we are in every present moment.

Need help breaking a downward cycle and finding the positive in your life? Learn more about my compassionate approach and free introductory phone session.

The Season, and Life, Are About Change

The beautiful transition into fall gives us a chance to reflect and be aware of all life provides Beautiful blue fall sky behind yellow, orange and rust leaves, signifies change in nature and in, even while sitting in traffic, thinking about our to-do list or grieving a lost loved one.

I would like to share a couple of sage old Buddhist ideas to help us live fully in the present.

Everything in the universe is in constant flux – both pleasure and pain must pass away in this temporary world – our bodies, thoughts, loves, successes, possessions, illnesses, hard times, empires, stars — no exceptions!

Yet every fleeting moment is perfect to help us become who we’re meant to be and view ourselves and others with a compassionate heart.

Life on this earth gives us the opportunity to work with all the sets of opposites — light and dark, like and dislike, grasping and letting go. Since the nature of our experience is flux, we know each moment is going to vanish.

So for this season, why not appreciate all that is fleeting and changing around us?

Are you working through the changing feelings of a difficult loss? Click here to take my free Chakra Profile Quiz and assess how well you’re coping.

Tips for Loving More, Hurting Less

A recipe for discovering happiness, even in the midst of grief? Forgive everyone and treat yourself like your own best friend.blossoming-trees-in-marin

Concentrate on self care and follow these six tips to access your own innate power to love!

  1. Make sure you’re getting enough rest and drinking enough water to keep you hydrated.
  2. If you are grieving, release your grief by crying freely. When that wave passes, start having fun. Laughter and joy are the best medicines for the blues.
  3. Find some purposeful pleasure like a walk in the woods.
  4. Try listening to uplfting music or call a friend for a movie or brunch.
  5. Get plenty of enjoyable exercise, like a dance or yoga class.
  6. Have more than one session with your Grief Coach. They will help you come to a peaceful place during this time.If you don’t have the support of a Grief Coach this would be a great time to start working with one.

Another great resource:
 Zero Limits – The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace,
and More, by Dr. Joe Vitale

More about Dhyanis’s grief coaching services.

Overcoming Grief . . . The Power of Forgiveness

I am sorryserene water view signifying the healing of grief in Marin
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

Ancient Hawaiian Healing Prayer

This Hawaiian prayer asks us to assume 100% responsibility for everything that crosses our path. The best thing we can take from any experience is the lesson, without resenting the teacher or ourselves.

Anything that needs clearing can be done by repeating those four golden phrases. Try saying them over and over in your mind, either in solitude or while engaged in any “situation.”

Here is an example of how you can personalize the prayer:

I am sorry (for my part in this situation, for being unaware)

Please forgive me (for whatever contribution I made, I didn’t know what I was creating)

Thank you (for the miraculous possibility of erasing this, for taking care of this, God)

I love you (reconnect to Divine Love, God, universal intelligence, the person, or myself)

I apologize (for any hurt I brought you)

I forgive you (for any hurt you brought me)

Thank you ( for all the good times and the growth)

I love you (only love is real)

Louise Hay, in her book Meditations to Heal Your Life, wraps up her Forgiveness Meditation with this: “I go about my own business of clearing the unforgiving parts of my mind, and I allow the love to come in. Then I am healed.”

Let’s face it, being unforgiving is detrimental to our health. Plus, the energy it takes detracts from the success of our current projects and joie de vivre!

Even if someone appears to have been deliberately devious or hurtful, blaming them or replaying the bad soap opera reruns in our mind only punishes us, never the perpetrator.

Next week, I’ll give you five ways to be your own best friend, and support you in forgiving yourself and others.

Click to learn more about my personal journey through loss and recovery, as well as Moving Past Grief services.